Project start. It's tough coordinating things around. Can't really focus on task. Too many things coming up. I think I am not suited for this. Sigh. Feel damn stupid at site these days.

Miss this girl argh! Feel like ranting but ahh well..

Was having driving test yesterday and i got immediate failure!! damn!! This is the first time i beat the traffic light.. Argh!!

Suddenly I feel i have lost my fighting spirit altogether.

Kayla and her mummy!!

i have not been updating for very very long time. so i reckon no one will ever read this page again. But anyhow, i'll just write a few words about what has happened within these months that i am away. I am having difficulty finding words to put in here so pardon me.



The past few months has been quite terrible. It's been a year since i joined this company. I have rot in the company for like 6 months before really a project of my own. It was very badly done but it was a good experience.



Basically for this job i was being thrown into a place where none of my colleagues are in and was alone there with no proper office to do up the piping for a new incinerator. The place is dirty, smelly and full of mozzies. I am not complaining abt the smell and dirt part as i am accustomed to it when i was in Sembcorp. The thing is i was thrown there alone with nobody to guide me and i screwed up real badly. An inexperienced engineer being put there in a jungle with no one. I have to slowly find my way out but good thing one of my colleagues will on and off come and visit and advise me on certain things. and other colleagues will call or sms me to see if i am ok.



And i really have to thank a couple of my friends who were there to hear me whine and rant about my work. =) or else i think i will breakdown.



On a brighter side, my sis had given birth to a cute little girl - Little Kayla. She's such a dear and adorable. She's one of the reasons that i am holding on to myself.


There's this girl. We used to hang out, go pray at bugis together and dine out. we used to rant abt our work. As time goes by, she gives me a feeling that i would want to protect her and makes me want to dote on her and make her happy (it is always a pleasure to see her smile). I remembered once she said that there is this girl at her office whose bf/husband brought her food from home and it was sooo sweet. At that instance i wanted do the same too. like say, ask her mum to cook her food from home (yes, i kind of know her family la) and i would travel to bring to her office. Well, we were that close and i grew increasingly fond of her. i told her abt my feelings a few months ago. Thereafter, i began to take her presence for granted and did many stupid deeds. Sigh



Recently, she began to be cold towards me. I dont know why, maybe is because of the things i said or did prior to that. And because of this i realised that how important she is. Maybe she has found somebody whom she can rely on. I certainly hope this guy treats her very well if that's the case. For me, i think i will continue to be there if she ever needs me. If there's any chance that she wants a person to share her burden, i will always be there.